You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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