How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
