Your tits are I can't wait for
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
