Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
