it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
