we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
