i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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