she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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