so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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