I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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