They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize