No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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