I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Randomize
