What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
