I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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