I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
