The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
