Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
