He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize