just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
