I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
