Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
