I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
