Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
