thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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