after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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