I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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