we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
