People with herpes should wear stickers.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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