I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
