This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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