I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
