I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
