woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You were trust falling into bushes
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
