Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
