You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
