Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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