It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
