i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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