when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
