ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize