It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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