um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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