I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
