Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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