Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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