you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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