mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
