Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize