my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
