Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
