I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
