Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
