I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Apparently you make a good broom.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
