We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
