My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
