I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
