dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize