what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
