They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
