im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
These tits shall not be calmed
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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