maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
