I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
