i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
