it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
