i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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