I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
