Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
