This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
