Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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