I cannot find my penis.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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