I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
