not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
