Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
