I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
